stories and poems

SHORT STORIES AND POEMS

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 06:07:17 PST

I LOVE YOU I HATE YOU

I HATE U 4 LOOKING AT ME
FROM THE CORNER OF UR EYES
FOR MAKING ME SMILE
FOR LETTINGN ME HOLD UR HAND
FOR COMING INTO MY LIFE
FOR EATING WHAT I LOVED
FOR WEARING WHT I THOUGHT SUITED U
FOR LOOKING BEAUTIFUL
FOR DOING EVERYTHING TO PLEASE ME
FOR LOVING ME INTENSELY
FOR WAITING 4 ME
FOR RUNNING TOWARDS ME TO HUG ME
FOR KISSING ME PASSIONATELY
FOR BEING ONE WITH ME
NOW GOING AWAY SUDDENLY
WITHOUT EVEN SAYING A WORD
NOWI HATE MYSELF
WHY M I ALIVE
GOD I WANT TO BE ONE WITH HERE

YOU ARE MY LOVE

u were a surprise
a dream come true
a love without any boundaries
a beauty which i feel deep inside
a smile which kisses me
a touch which caresses me
a perfume which is all pervading
can i touch u
can i hold ur hand
can i look into yr eyes
can i feel u around me
can i ever forget u
can i live without u
GOD tell me what do i DO

A GIFT OF GOD

My faith in god n man has redoubled- as though I have not- cannot see God but I believe even today he creates human who perform his deeds for a fortunate few
Let me tell u from the beginning
It all started three years ago- as I was going thru my mails on msn
I saw a message �wanted true female friends� I sent a reply back saying that I was a Muslim girl from an orthodox family doing my B.A ,final 19 yrs old n was interested in sincere friendship
A reply came saying �I m interested provided u r not interested in romance- no exchange of photos � no telephone numbers n no desire to meet ever�
I was surprised at the same time happy that there are in India still males who can be decent as my past experience and advice of friends was to the contrary
Incidentally my name is Naaz and he was Vikram

As per his desire I added him on Yahoo messenger and waited for his message
I got a mail saying that he can chat only from 10 pm onwards n will be on line at that time
I was relieved as I was not allowed to chat during day as my parents were strict and late night chatting suited me
At 10 pm I saw him on line n sent him a �hi� and we got started- he sent me a long mail giving the details of how he grew up in a poor family n his father struggled to bring up his three children and prospered in a software business of which he was now the owner with his three brothers 23 n 21 � he being only 25 and unmarried
After a few days we became very friendly and our chatting not only became regular but got extended to sometime till midnight n beyond
He never talked much about himself but I was opening up n told him everything about an affair I had with a senior college friend Sidhant who was very handsome and lot of girls were after him- he was seen with a different girl everyday which made everyone jealous n lot of girls wanted to possess him- I was no exception
But he ditched me too after going around with me for 6 months
The more he moved away from me the more I wanted him and I cried day n night for him n even failed in my final year
I was now confined to my home lonely- no friends n nothing to look forward to �my parents planning to marry me off. After more than a year Sidhant was after me saying that he loved me and wanted to marry me- he was from a poor family living in a chawl and working as a salesman in a small firm getting 4000/ per month salary
I was confused n knew my father will kill me if he ever came to know about my affair but Sidhant was telephoning me everyday urging me to marry him immediately not only that he was now wanting me to rebel n tell my dad that whatever happens I will marry Sidhant n not only that Dad will have to help us financially in setting up a home
Vikram was appalled n could not digest all this and offered to marry himself after convincing my parents that he would keep their daughter happy but I still loved Sidhant n could not forget him
Vikram gave up n was so annoyed that he told me that as I was prepared to destroy my life he had nothing to do with this silly talk n refused to listen to this crap.I was now worried that I will lose Vikram too as I was being foolish n impractical so I started realizing that I must make up my mind to forget Sidhant which was very difficult as he continued to phone me n started telling me of his other girl friends he was going around with now This again threatened my relationship with him n I again started thinking that there must be a way to marry Sidhant � I was even prepared to leave my home n all luxuries of life n live I a one room chawl with his family for my love Vikram did not come on line for three days n I did not know why � thinking that he was fed up with my foolishness n I had lost him
I sent him several off line messages n mails but there was no reply .I kept looking at the blank screen and started cursing myself n knew Vikram will never come back or he must have has met with some accident .The more I thought about it the uglier the thoughts came to my mind
There was no way I could know why Vikram had disappeared .I prayed to God � with tears in my eyes- please give me my Vikram back- I will do as he says but pl God I want my Vikram back
At last on 7th day his I got a mail saying that he was sick but now ok will talk tonight. I was very happy n waited for the clock to strike 10
When he came on line I couldn�t control my self n burst into tears as if I got the most precious possession back
Was I in love with Vikram-? who I had not even seen but strangely did not even feel the need to see him. I wanted to run towards him n hug him tight � why I don�t know. All I knew that he was my best friend. And I never waned to lose him
That night he gave me a big lecture and said all girls fall in love at this age without thinking about their future n invariably land in trouble if the guy they love has poor education without ambition n has no future .Therefore he advised me to first finish my studies and adopt a career so that I have an identity of my own. According to him if a woman has an identity of her own she is respected by her husband too. Also with changing times girls are having a bright future today n must stand on their feet
He advised me to read a book The Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir- which will change my own concept of a why woman is a woman
I never bought the book but he continued to coax me into steering my life myself The result was that I enrolled my self in college again n got engrossed in studies �finishing my M.A. in applied psychology- specializing in industrial psychology n getting first division. Seeing my results my Dad also encouraged me to get ahead in life; In fact he permitted me to take interest in his business as he was not able to cope with the large labor force of about 300 workers and started seeking my advice in certain matters
Dad told me to handle the HR department which I was very happy to do.
My chatting with Vikram continued but as I was now busy the chatting reduced and it lasted only a few minutes
Vikram was now very happy n so was I
He proposed that I now settle down and suggested that the name of his friend Irfan a Professor in JNU - Delhi � who according to him was ideal for me �he even sent his picture Irfan was very handsome n from a very good enlightened family of Rampur
I was a bit disappointed as I always dreamt that Vikram was my hero but I did not have the guts to express my feelings as he had done so much for me I wanted to do everything as he suggested
I talked to my Dad about it and he was happy at the god sent proposal
The families met n Irfan came to see me. It was love at first sight and within a week we got married
I was writing this from the houseboat in Srinagar where we had gone for our honeymoon n Irfan was fast asleep
He had told me that when we go to Delhi he will take me to Vikrams place to meet him as Vikram was not able to attend our wedding being on a business tour to US
It getting very late at night then suddenly Irfan got up n told me to read out what I was writing
After I read out the whole story he told me something I could never imagine
Vikram was not a 25 yrs old young fellow but was his professor Dr Vikram Mehta � the head of department of sociology who was 50 yrs old � never married and whose mission in life was to change the future of any female who came in his contact
This was an experiment he was performing even with unknown n unseen female n I was the subject of study
I was overwhelmed n could not wait to see the God on earth who saved me from ruining myself n guided me to be a person with an identity of my own
I did not know how I will thank Prof Vikram

We reached Delhi and Irfan telephoned his Guru � there was no response so we decided to go to his place immediately
As we reached his place there was a stunned silence and in the main hall we saw a large number of people in white praying before a large photograph of Prof Vikram who had died of a heart attack three days ago
I burst out crying n continued to sit till everyone had left
Irfan met his house keeper who had a gift for me wrapped in a golden paper-it was the book Second Sex- with a hand written note �with love to my Begum � Sartaj�
Vikram always called me Begum and I called him Sartaj
Was he my God on earth who I couldn�t see n touch?

SHORT STORIES AND POEMS

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 05:19:42 PST

A FRENCH CONNECTION

Madhukar was married for the last two years and was very happy having married his childhood sweetheart who he had known from childhood- they were a made for each other couple .The understanding they had was rare as there were no secrets between them � a total trust on all levels

Many times they discussed relationships between men and women like a third man or a woman in a couple�s life

Their views would sometimes be opposite as Madhuri would outright condemn a man for infidelity but Mahukar would argue that a fling here and there were ok as long as the woman and man confess their crime to each other n come back to their spouse admitting their guilt n promise never to repeat the event- the argument ended that they will never ever be unfaithful

But Madhukar did commit a blinder

He was on a long business trip which took him all over India; He was in Bhuvneshwar and was to return to Delhi after a stopover in Calcutta for which he was at the railway station in a queue; He was fourth in the line and saw a foreigner struggling to fill the reservation form as she did not know English well

Madhukar offered to help her fill the form n evidently came to know her name and the name of the hotel she was staying in-she was Marei Christien - a French on a tour

of India-n was headed for Madras and from there to Kanyakumari

She thanked him and walked away

Madhukar saw her go and for some reason couldn�t take his eyes off her swinging buttocks- like of which he had never seen �he normally was attracted by the bosom of a women but this was a kind he never experienced in his life

He went back to his room n without thinking picked up the phone n dialed her hotels number- -.He was told she had left for Konarak Temple n would return in the evening

He therefore went out to do his work but decided to talk to her in the evening on her return

He invited her for dinner and she readily agreed �after dinner they agreed to visit Puri next day

They traveled to Puri in a hired car and at the end of a four hour journey the became close friends

They enjoyed the swim in the beach saw the famous Jagannath puri temple and returned having become much closer to each other as both were keen to see each other again they decided to meet again after a week in Hydrebad in a particular hotel where Madhukar normally stayed

Both were very happy on the prospect of meeting again. Marie was a short woman of 5 ft and Madhukar was almost 6 ft so as they were departed Marie stood on her tip toes put her arms round Madhukar n kissed him

Madhukar was very happy n felt Marie was known to him 4 ages

Madhukar was not able to sleep that night

On his return home he didn�t take her off his mind as he was dreaming of seeing her again impatiently. He thought of telling this encounter to his wife but avoided as he wanted to see the ultimate result

Madhukar reached Hyderabad on the appointed day and found the hotel he normally stayed at was closed for renovations so he paid a tip to the guard and requested him to send Marie to the hotel where he was now staying as her train from kanyakumari was to arrive next morning at 5 am, He got up early and as the station was only about 3 km and there was no conveyance available at that hour he decided to walk and that also in chappals

He searched for her but there was no tracer of her �he was annoyed that Marie had cheated him n he returned to the hotel, to his surprise he found he had boils in his soles as he was not used to walking in chappals this much distance

He gave up hope of ever seeing Marie again in his life. As he had finished his work in Hyderabad he checked out n went to finish his last appointment as his flight to Bangalore -his next stop

At 11.30 there was a call from the Hotel that there was a lady wanting to talk to him- that was Marie who had missed her train and had just arrived on a different train

Madhukar returned immediately and found that she had checked in the hotel n was allotted the same room which he had vacated .He went to the room and there she was almost in tears �she grabbed him n kissed him again n again �tears trickling down her cheeks

When she saw the boils on Madhukars feet she kissed them n washed them in warm water apologizing all the while for having missed the train

They had a quick lunch n went to see the city particularly Salarjung Meseum which was a rare treat to Marie As her spoken English was not very good they conversed throughout by writing on paper for each other at the same time laughing g out at this peculiar way to talk as there was so much to talk n this was the fastest method At Banglore the checked into separate adjoining rooms but slept in the same room at night

They talked late into night and Marie curled up in Madhukars arms n slept like a child- he kept thinking why he had come all the way to just talk to this sexy woman as he was sure sex was a part of this encounter . But kept quite waiting for the right opportunity

Next night also passed off same way but now Madhkar was feeling that he was a fool to let go this opportunity � he therefore decided that tonight he won�t spare her

After dinner before he could ask her squarely she said she knew what he was thinking n said �Madhukar anyone else in you condition would have raped me- but you are a strange man �you didn�t even try having sex with me� Before he replied she started crying like a child n grabbed Madhukasr showering kisses on him Mdhukar was completely confused

Marie then told him that at age 12 she was raped by her best friend and from that time she never allowed ant man to come near her. Then she surrendered herself to Madhukar and said �you can have me if u like�

But Madhukar was not a beast

Next day they both parted as friends with a promise never to meet again

All she said was �Madhukar I will always love you- u are a unique man �

Madhukar returned home with a strange feeling which couldn�t be explained and told everything in detail to Madhuri who laughed and said �Darling I love you more than ever before�

SHORT STORIES AND POEMS

Mon, 23 Feb 2004 09:08:46 PST

SHORT STORIES AND POEMS

SUMERI- MY FRIEND I MISS U

Sumeri was a sweeper and was very poor with a wife and three children to feed plus he was suffering with T.B which was in an advanced stage
I tried to get him treated but his condition was worsening day buy day
Sumeri was a very simple n decent fellow n never ever refused to do anything from bringing my grocery to making my breakfast n was a good cook too. His omelet was superb and he would take the same breakfast after serving me
As told by him Sumeri ran away from home as his father was a drunkard n would beat him everyday
He was at that time twelve n joined a Nautanki- a traveling drama group- traveling from place to place .Strangely he took to performing a girl�s role n that too of a dancing girl-having learnt dancing. I told him to show me what he used to do and he readily agreed. Believe me he was really a good dancer and I was so impressed that I thought I would show his talent to a nearby school n raise some funds 4 him too
The principal was a family friend and after seeing his performance readily agreed 4 a show
Next Saturday Sumeri was the star n got a big applause from the entire school n a standing ovation. He was very pleased with himself and not only that he become a celebrity in no time
Sumeri was very happy with himself. His face had a strange glow and his gait too changed
I was happy but worried that I will lose my friend soon �there was no hope.
Sumeri was now bed ridden and was waiting for his end
One late night I had a knock at my door and saw his wife standing there n crying. She told me that Sumeri was dying n wanted to die in my lap. I rushed to his quarter nearby n saw he was breathless .I put his head in my lap asked him to pray with me. His voice was inaudible but his lips were quivering
I less than five minutes Sumeri was gone- my talented n poor friend was no more

PAPA WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT YOU

I saw him about three years ago when he came to see my boss for some official work
He gave me a very sweet smile and waited for my boss to arrive and after a brief meeting left giving me a smile again

There was something in his smile which was unusual and although he was a senior citizen I wished he comes again
Next day he came again and asked my name .After a brief meeting left again
Then his visits were regular and I started calling him �Uncle� n he called me� Beta� very affectingly
I even told my parents about him

One day he came with his son Gautam and introduced him to me and who started coming in his place
Gautam was a regular visitor but there was something in him which was very endearing
May be his twinkling eyes n again his smile which reminded me of his father
There was a feeling of attachment between us which I could feel but nothing happened
On valentine day Gautam gave me a valentine card for which I thanked him
For a week there was no news of Gautam but I got a phone call from him and then we became very friendly quickly
Gautam told his father about me n he gave his blessings immediately
One day he took me home and introduced me to his family who were very happy to meet me; Soon thereafter the families met and we were engaged to be married after six months
The marriage was over n so was our month long honeymoon
I was now a part of a very loving family with my new Papa and Mummy �who gave me so much love and affection that I felt as if I had known them from ages
Papa had an accident and was bed ridden for three months during which period I looked after him as Mummy was also attending our office and Papa stopped going to office
In these three months I came to know him very closely and he told me how all about him n the entire family plus he educated me about the family business so much so that after three months I started attending office and soon became an expert in my work-thanks to the motivation I got from Papa
Papa was my best friend in the family and always ensured that I m comfortable as a integral part of the family .Mummy also was very loving and we became inseparable
Mummy also now gave me the responsibilities of the finances she was handling in office and stropped coming to office
Gauri[my name] and Gautam were now running the business as a team- which was Pappas dream and he was very happy that now he can retire from business having trained us both
Three years passed and we didn�t even know
Then a tragedy struck- Mummy had a massive heart attack and despite the best medical help she didn�t survive. During this crisis Papa was our pillar of strength and was composed but after her death he was a broken man- always talking of his own death which according to him was imminent .He gave himself not more than six months to survive - He even fixed a date exactly after six months after her death
He was busy writing his biography on computer from morning till late at night
He had so much to write I could never imagine
When I came home he made me read what he had written with the result I knew his innermost feelings very clearly-I now knew he was an exceptional man having struggled all his life n having helped everyone around him � he just lived for others
There were a large number of people who he had helped all his life- never desiring anything in return from anyone
Many times I saw him in tears remembering Mummy � the more I consoled him the more he cried and he was losing his will to live, despite my best efforts I could not help him
On valentine day he sent out a large number of greetings to family members and others and showed me those he had received
Surprisingly there were a large number of females who sent him greetings from various offices with whom he had personal relationship developed over last 35 years of business he conducted successfully
The six months period was now almost over and I was now a bit relaxed that Papa had reconciled with circumstances
As usual I telephoned him in the afternoon to check up whether he had taken his lunch n medicines .but he didn�t pick up the phone
I thought he may be in the toilet as he was alone in the house I tried the phone several times but there was no reply
I was now scared and rushed home
I saw him sitting in his chair opposite the computer with his back towards me
I saw I very bold letters just one line
SWEATHEART I M COMING
I knew he was no more- having finished his biography he had gone
I felt as though I was going to faint but cried out loudly
PAPA WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT U
I had lost my best friend on earth

MY FIRST BRUSH WITH DEATH

Nandi was my younger brother who had a hole in his heart and was not able to do any laborious work n was aware of the danger to his life
Once he was admitted into hospital for observation 4 one week As he was not in the habit of lying down as a sick person -he would go around in hospital to help other patients like giving them a glass of water- medicines or just read them something to cheer them up
He was a very kind soul and in school also he was very popular As the teachers also knew his condition the also gave him special treatment
One day we were all sitting around chatting after dinner around 10 pm
He coughed badly n before i could run to get a glass of water he collapsed
I didn't know what happened n checked his pulse -it was not there
I ran out to a doctor who stayed near buy.he was taking dinner and left it in between -ggrabbedhis bag n came running to our place
He gave an injection in his heart but nothing happened -so he ppronouncedhim dead
Then i saw my feet were bleeding- i had run barefooted to the doctors place
If i close my eyes i can still feel the piercing feeling of small stone pieces which hurt my feet n i didn't have the time to put on my shoes
Then the duty to inform all friends and relatives that we lost Nandi and to hunt dad who was on a tour -his xact whereabouts not known except i had his tour programme-this took me whole nite . Dad was too far away wouldn't be able to reach before 24 hrs
I had to therefore make all arrangements for funeral with tears flowing down my cheeks
According to tradition a father cant cremate a son so as it is it was my job but all alone without father it looked as if i Will collapse without finishing my duty
That day i felt i had from a young boy become a man the head of our family
This was a very ugly feeling
Anyhow i lit the funeral pyre with shaky hands n holding my breath - consigning to flames a lovely brother full of goodness ever smiling face n in few minutes everything turned to flames n ashes
Where was Nandi now- he will never come back
The entire school came to attend his last rites n each of them was crying
After two days i had to go to collect his remains- though dad had come back it was still my duty -he was not permitted to do this even
He only stood silently with his hand on my shoulder telling me to be brave but was unable to hold his tears
Normally ashes r kept in a temple before taking them to HARIDWAR for immersion i brought them home without dads knowledge n hid them behind books in my room waiting for Father to go to HARIDWAR for immersion
One day i came back home n found mother had by Chance discovered them n was clutching the bundle of ashes in her hands n crying bitterly
It was a terrible site n it took me a v great deal of time to console mother
Next day father went to HARIDWAR for immersion
That scene of mother holding her sons ashes in her lap still shakes my soul

MAHATMA GANDHI AND ME

I read " My experiments with truth"'when i was very young n unknowingly his "fasting - maun vrat" principal took deep roots in my soul
I don't profess to be an expert in Gandhian Philosophy but have used these two tools very effectively my own self
When ever anyone hurt me or i lost my temper due to something someone said or did i went into the fasting n maunvrat mode- didn't even take a sip of water and locked my self in a room cutting off everyone from my life
This gave me an opportunity for introspection n i kept analysing
Invariably i realised that may be i was wrong n saw the point of view of the other person
As the day progressed i was convinced that i had no rite to lose my temper and tried to prove myself wrong n nor rite
Also my memories about the misunderstanding faded away
Next day everything was normal n i had the courage to apologise easily
The reader may not agree with me but it did help me"clean my soul"as i called it
Thank u Bapu

FRIENDSHIP ON NET

In march 2003 I met my classmates Rita n Bhupender from school[these two had got married] We talked on various issues like our childhood -career -families - love n romance - marriage n true friendship
Her view was that true friendship can be between two males which can last a lifetime but it does not exhist between two women n a man n a woman
My view was that true friendship between opposite sexes is possible if they become friends with a pledge that they will not fall in love with each other n promise never ever to nurse the desire to meet or see each other
The only way to prove my point was to find net friends
It was agreed that we do the experiments separately exchange notes after six months
Rita was married to Bhupender n her husband was liberal n readily agreed to become the judge after the experiment is over
Bhupender said jokingly that after six months i m going to lose my wife n ur going to get married to one of ur net friends We parted after dinner n agreed to meet again after 6 months
I was a born optimist n set in earnest to find friends on net
The obvious choice was chat rooms n groups of all kinds
The Indian rooms like Delhi n Mumbai proved futile but London rooms brought in some results plus some MSN groups had the choice to advertise for friends like =looking 4 sincere female friends=
This resulted in several replies n it was easy to choose persons of my choice-got several replies n set in earnest to perform experiments on different females who were mostly students one or two were working girls too
The story of each was different which i m giving separately-the picture is not clear yet - as Rita has given up being in family way but my study continues
The story of each female is different but interesting-
I met Priya in London room-she used to talk to me between 11pm to2am everyday-it was a regular chat which was simple things like admission to MBA institutes or a job in a IT company as she was an IT graduate
We came to know each other well in a short time n became rather close -looking forward to the 11 O'Clock appointment on net As was normal the question of exchange of pics cropped up - u fist n u first type
I was not interested as my experiment will fail -my aim was to see an ideal friendship where romance had no place but she was now getting restless n started showing signs of desperation like switching off but came back after a few minutes n the argument started why cant u send ur pic- i promise not to stop talking to u even if ur not handsome n i m also not also not good looking etc
I had to tell her that even we like each other i m not going ahead 4 any relationship but this did not solve the problem
I had also to go abroad 4 further studies n was not ready 4 a marriage plus had no time to spare 4 romance having my priorities clear
She was even prepared to go abroad with me 4 studies with as she thought that would be fun but will be the end of my ambitious plans 4 PhD which i wanted to do
But then I made a fool of myself by this venture to find a True friend
For a moment I felt I had lost the bet as i also developed soft corner 4 her and starting waiting 4 the 11 o clock appointment- if she was late n didn't come like a fool i kept staring into the empty monitor screen even 4 an hour n if she got disconnected I would keep waiting even 4 two hours
Was i falling in love with her i kept wondering - if she did not reply my =hi= I felt desperate n my heartbeat went up.
Sometimes she would say =ok bye= n would disappear - I would miss a heart beat n would be desperate for her to come back-but she wont come
My sleep would vanish n I would now want to look 4 another friend- as if i lose her what do i do-i now had one more friend from Manila-a yrs old 19 student of performing arts
So cooked up a story that I have a whole in my heart n will die in six months time- so that she loses interest in me This did not work at all as she now wanted to be closer to me more n developed a sense of responsibility to look after me and started looking on net 4 heart specialist for surgery all over the world-now i was stuck again n did not know what to do next
I stopped coming on line 4 two days -This resulted in several off line messages n long emails requesting to talk to her
I had to pretend that i was not well that did not help at all - she would not believe n cried bitterly
I was now completely foxed n thought of another excuse that I was an 80 yrs old man with grand children - she was v upset n didn't talk to me 4 one week but was back again with a request to prove by sending my family pic that also I refused n deleted her from my friends list but mails never stopped coming
She was now in love with my heart as i was her best friend still
Once in a while she would come on line tell me about her admission efforts in BB SCHOOLS n go away
Its now 3 months but there is no news of her
Now it�s my turn to find out what happened to Priya
How she is - where she is

NIKITA MET ME ON NET IN BEGINNING OF MAY - BY CHANCE WHILE CHATTING
I FOUND HER A DECENT SIMPLE GIRL- 19 YRS OLD - A STUDENT IN MANILA N WE USED TO CASUALLY CHAT OF DIFFERENT SUBJECTS
SOMETIMES SHE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT INDIAN CULTURE - TRADITIONS RELIGION ETC N LOOKED AN INTELLIGENT GIRL
THE CHAT STARTED FOR FEW MINUTES N GOT EXTENDED TO SOMETIMES 4 OVER AN HOUR AT TIMES
THEN IT BECAME REGULAR EVERYDAY N IT LOOKED SHE WAS GETTING MORE N MORE INTERESTED IN ME
AFTER A MONTH OR SO IT LOOKED AS IF SHE WAS GETTING EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO ME N SENT HER PIC TOO
SHE WAS A DECENT LOOKING GIRL N WHEN SHE ASKED 4 MY PIC I REFUSED
THEN ONE DAY SHE ASKED ME WHETHER SHE CAN CALL ME =MAHAL=I SAID OK DONT MIND- BUT SHE WANTED ME TO FIND THE MEANING OF = MAHAL= ON MY OWN
I SUSPECTED IT MEANT SOMETHING NEARER TO = LOVE=SO IT WAS WHICH I FOUND FROM NET= MAHAL KITA= MEANS I LOVE YOU IN FILIPINO
I HAD KNOWN IN WHAT DIRECTION IT ALL WAS HEADING
I HAD NO INTENTION OF GETTING IN TO A ROMANCE ON NET DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO EXCEPT EXPLAIN HER AS BEST AS I COULD THAT I DID NOT BELIEVE IN ROMANCE ON NET BUT SHE WONT LISTEN TO ME N INSISTED THAT I LOVED HER TOO N WAS ONLY TRYING TO GET RID OF HER
I DID NOT WANT TO HURT HER AS I GENUINELY LIKED HER AS SHE WAS REALLY A V DECENT GIRL
I EXPLAINED HER THAT THIS LOVE AFFAIR HAD NO FUTURE AS IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE FOR HER TO COME N SETTLE AS MY WIFE N I WAS NOT YET READY 4 MARRIAGE PLUS SHE MUST FINISH HER STUDIES
SHE WAS PREPARED TO WAIT BUT WANTED MY COMMITMENT
I DID NOT WANT TO BE IMPOLITE N DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO I
TRIED THE SAME WHOLE IN THE HEART TRICK SHE WOULD NOT BELIEVE AS SHE THOUGHT I WAS TRYING TO GET RID OF HER N SHE WAS NOT ABLE TO DO WITHOUT ME N CRIED ALL THE TIME URGING TO GIVE HER MY ADDRESS SO SHE CAN COME TO INDIA
THIS WAS DANGEROUS GAME NOW SO I BECAME AN OLD MAN OF 65
HAD TO CONVINCE HER THAT I WAS LONELY AND WANTED TO HAVE FRIENDS ON NET N POSED AS A YOUNG MAN
TO CONVINCE HER I SENT A FAMILY PIC SHOWING MY WIFE CHILDREN
NOW I BECAME HER DAD AS HER FATHER HAD LEFT HER MOM WHEN SHE WAS ONLY 3 MONTHS N WAS IN USA N SHE WANTED TO LOCATE HIM
FROM WHATEVER DETAILS SHE HAD I LOCATED HIM ONE MR MASON ON NET SHE WAS HAPPY AS HER ADOPTED DAD WAS EVERYTHING 4 HER WE JOINTLY DRAFTED A LETTER TO MR MASON FROM NIKITA TO ACCEPT HER AND MEET HER THE LETTER WAS AS FOLLOWS
NIKITA'S letter r to her father
I have always wanted to talk to u -as a child when learnt to talk first - mom says I uttered your name first- dada n then mama
I don�t know it must be true- in my heart your name always comes first
I have always waited for u - when I took my first step- I looked around looking for u to hold me but still took my first step -why u were not there dad
I went to school first time u were not there dad to assure me u will be waiting 4 me when I come out of the school -u were not there dad
When i got my first result of class u were not there dad
When i fell down n hurt myself u was not there dad to wipe my tears
When I was alone in the house u were not there to play with me- to buy me chocolates -to wish me happy birthday year by year
Dad i grew up slowly looking for you, until I decided to really find my missing part.
Everything is complete, I have my lovely mom who gives everything that I need, friends who really cares for me, relatives who�s always there to guide me, but still there�s this emptiness I feel and I believe that only you can fill this.
Please dad I can�t move on because I know that there is a part of me that is not yet fulfilled. I love you but I don�t know if you feel the same. I wrote you a letter before but still no reply. Dad am I still important or you already forgot me? Do I need to stop all of this pls pls dad I am really affected by this situation?
If you don�t want me anymore please do say it, its better to say the truth that to hide. You are my father, you have responsibilities to do I know that you are matured enough to know all of these. I did everything just to find you but still no reactions from you, everyone knows that you are not showy or expressive but this is really important.
Please let me feel you as my father. I know you have now your own lovely daughters but I hope you also treated me the way you do to them. Be fair please. This scrapbook is for you, I do not know if you will see this or react with this. At least dad I did my part.
If the time is not enough for the two of us at least I loved you even without having it in return. I also want to thank you because without you there is no me. I love you with all my heart even you don�t. I am lucky to have my mom because I know that she loves me too. This is for you, I hope you understand
THIS LETTER WAS SENT TO USA BUT THREE MONTHS HAVE PASSED THERE IS NO REPLY
NIKITA HAS LOST HOPE N NOW HATES THE WORD =DAD=
SHE IS NOT TALKING TO ME MUCH N MORE OR LESS OUR RELATIONSHIP IS OVER
I have now decided to stop experimenting as I have found two very good female friends with clear understanding= no pics - no phone nos - no love on net- just pure n clean friendship=
I m happy as it is n found that if u r careful n clear in ur mind friendship with females which is pure n platonic is possible-
Rest time will tell

KAMINI MY BELOVED

She was very beautiful very loving �we both were in love with each other � a divine love � like of which no one can imagine � Kamini was a female deer � hirni
She had strayed in our farm in Haryana and we couldn�t locate her mother � when I saw her I fell in love with her � I was 12 and she was probably 6 months old but she was a beauty � with proverbial eyes which one hears in poetry but wouldn�t easily see closely
She would run faster than me like bijlee so the name Kamini � which suited her well
She would respond to my voice and I thought she knew her name Kamini ..Slowly I learnt the different sounds emitted by her and we virtually conversed with each other. She recognized me from a distance and ran towards me came very close and rubbed her body with me showing how she wanted to be a part of my body n soul
Kamini would eat from me n didn�t even look at any other family members- I was the one person who she liked to talk to
We became inseparable and except going to school all my time was spent in her company �even I took my home work out into the large lawn we h ad where Kamini was free to move about. We had to raise the boundary fencing to six feet to prevent Kamini from jumping across the fencing
Within a year she grew fast n was now so powerful that we had to tie her with a strong steel chain
One day she broke the chain and jumped the fence and headed towards the nearby jungle. I ran after her and saw her standing at the beginning of the jungle sniffing around but dare not go further-with little coaxing she followed me n we came home- I was happy I found her. But I knew she wanted to return to the wild which was her real home
After a few days she became more rest less and I knew I have to be prepared to lose her
One fine morning she was very restless and I wanted her to go her way therefore I took her myself deep into the jungle � she leading me to by her sense of smell
I could now see at a distance a large group of deer�s a let her go. She disappeared from my sight and I was happy she was free n happy amongst her own kind
I came back empty handed having lost my beloved and could not control my tears
But I was glad Kamini was free
I regularly used To go where I left her but there was no trace of her
Then I gave up n never went in that direction

HI I AM CHARU

Hi my name is Charu
I m 36 yrs old very depressed n lonely but i think my life is going to change now � I at least think so but not sure-I m going to meet the man i loved these 18 yrs day n nite.My dream man i met when I was half my age
Let me start from beginning
I was in my final year in Simla n and by chance my friend Vinita told me of a vacancy in her office 4 three months n I jumped at the opportunity as i had nothing to do in summer vacations n this would not only give me some experience but some good money too plus she offered that i stay with her
I packed my clothes n landed in her house on a weekend
On Monday she took me with her n after a brief interview i was selected
The job was on reception as PRO so I was happy that i will learn n learn
After 3 days the telephone operator Meena got married n took one months leave n I had to now look after her job too- I did not mind as Meena trained me in two days but warned me that I have to be very careful of Ramesh Mukerji who is popularly called BOSS by everyone though he is only 28 but a very smart n good looking man but a great stickler of time
The office opened n closed with his arrival n departure. If he arrived it must be exactly 9.30 AM and if he got up to go it must be 5.30 PM plus he was the Branch Manager- a real go getter. She also said with a wicked smile "don�t fall in love with him - he has no time 4 girls "
This remark made me very curious to see who this BOSS was as he was out of town n will be coming on following Monday.I was in office at 9.15 sharp as the clock struck 9.30 a very handsome 6 ft tall man in a smart grey suit arrived followed by his driver carrying his brief case .When he saw me he stopped n said" Who r u miss- n where is Meena- n why are you sitting in her seat " n walked away
I did not know what to say as Ii was really scared
I gathered courage n went to his cabin to explain
He looked at me from head to toe as if examining me like a surgeon to decide from where to start dissection - he realized " oh u must be Charu- pl sit down -ur smart I like u -pl be comfortable � I did not realize you had already joined n pl take some coffee n make one 4 me - 2 spoons sugar if u don�t mind" All in one breath
I was completely floored n then he got busy with a long telephone conversation never ending giving a series of instructions to which seemed one of the upcountry depots
I finished my coffee n quietly got up n went out- he did not even look towards me as I slipped out When I reached my seat I was breathless n shaking from the first brush with a man everyone was scared of at the same time loved him as I came to know he was a very good human being
It was a very busy day 4 me as BOSS gave me a large no of upcountry telephone numbers of dealers he wanted to talk to -and I was able to do my work very satisfactorily
At xexactly5.30 he walked out wishing me good nite but came back n offered a lift home which could refuse
On the way he did not talk at all n kept reading a novel hardly looking at me
I was also happy as I didn't know whether I will be able to answer any thing he may ask
But that night I couldn't sleep n kept imagining as to what kind of a man Boss was but I knew I had fallen in love with him- love at first sight
Life was smooth n I did see him only once in a while but he never forgot to
give me a lift home rarely talking on the way always busy reading some
thick novel-sometimes smiling to himself reading some amusing stuff which he
never shared with me
One day he realized and said Charu i m sorry i was busy reading books all the
time but from now onwards Iwill not read books in the car
We then quickly became friends n he started sharing his life with me telling
me about his childhood - his student days n his career - his ambitions to
start his own business n make a lot of money
I had now realized Boss had developed a soft corner 4 me as one day he said
Charu u can call me Ramesh n not Boss
So now Boss was Boss in office but 4 me he was Ramesh
In no time three months passed n I didn�t realize I had to go back to

Simla-although I now wanted to be near Ramesh but no way
With a heavy heart I met Ramesh n told him that I was going back to Simla-
he just said "oh'- can I take u 4 a dinner tonight as a farewell from me" I
Readily agreed n he took me 4 Chinese in the best restaurant in town but
hardly spoke - looked as if he was a deep thoughts
suddenly he said " Charu I happen to like u n wished u stayed back but Ii
want u to finish ur studies - in case u ever want to write me ur welcome- u
know my address" Then he offered me a bouquet of flowers n touched my
cheeks very gently -we shook hands n he looked deep into my eyes gave me his beautiful smile n we parted
I wish he had wanted to kiss me I would have loved it
I looked back wishing he would run towards me grab me into his arms n
say-"Charu I love u -will u marry me" but he was gone

I went back to Simla with heavy heart was regretting why I could not express my feelings to Ramesh � I was a big fool

Got involved in studies but was not able to take my mind off him.Everyday decided to write a letter to him but did not go beyond �My dearest Ramesh.I started waiting 4 the day I will go back to Delhi n give him a surprise by facing him suddenly n say �Ramesh I m back� but that day never came
One fine morning I got a call from VIinita telling me that Ramesh was getting married
I almost fainted � my whole world was collapsing � what do I do now?
My xams were over n I decided to go to Delhi n Vinita told me all the details � he was getting married to Radhika my distant cousin by chance- who was a very sweet girl n I knew her well but what do I do �Ramesh was my first love- I didn�t want or say could never forget him so fast
At the same time I cursed myself 4 being stupid
Anyhow I picked up the phone n dialed his number and as I heard his voice I said �Hi Ramesh can u make out who am I�- he said �Sure CHARU who else- but where r u � � Very near u��How near- in my heart��yes_i m waiting for u outside your office n want to see u �I
In a few minutes he came out n we went to a nearby restaurant for lunch
Without waiting for ant pleasantries to xcange I said �Ramesh I love n want to marry you�
He just laughed n told me that he was already engaged n was getting married in three days time -more over he was in love with Radhika n could not abandon her at that stage
I had no answer except that I cried bitterly n he consoled me �I asked him to give me his picture n he said if I promised to keep his picture proudly as of his best friend n was prepared to showitto my future husband n children he would give me- this I couldn�t promise
We parted as friends with a promise that I would attend his wedding
I went home n cried all evening n through the night n next day too
I had an intense desire to meet him again 4 the last time n telephoned him to meet me 4 dinner at the same Chinese Restaurant-
He came n we had our food quietly � he told me just one sentence � Charu if u had even once told me that u loved me I would wait 4 u 100 years n will fly to Simla to marry u in one hours notice� I had no answer
Before he dropped me home I said �Ramesh can u pl do me a favor� �sure anything�
�Pl kiss me� He reluctantly kissed me n that was the last I saw of him
That kiss was the most valuable gift I got from him �even now when I close my eyes I feel his soft n warm lips n the ecstasy of love like of which I never experienced ever
I got a scholarship to go to France to study
French language n then on to Canada where I decide to settle down � away from India n everything which I called my own � teaching French was now my profession but I never forgot Ramesh neither I came closer to anyone nor encourage anyone to come near me
Time passed n one fine morning Vinita who was married n lost her husband in war decided to visit me �he gave me all the news about all friends n relations
I asked about Ramesh n she told me that he has a son who looks like his father n Radhika died of blood cancer three years ago
I was sorry to hear all this but then the desire to see Ramesh again rekindled in my heart
I did not know what to do
Vinita gave me his Id and I decided to make him my net friend under the name Parul
This worked and we became good friends chatting 4 hours late into night
He was a rich man having ventured into software field n as per Vinita had no desire to remarry
But I wanted to meet him at least once again what ever happened
He sent his picture and asked me to send mine
I was very happy to see him-but how do I tell him I was Charu n not Parul- suppose he feels cheated
There was no way to know his reaction I did not want to lose him again. I kept thinking but had no reasonable excuse to hide my real identity n therefore decided to send my picture being prepared to face the consequences
With trembling hands I sent the picture n closed my eyes to pray
There was no immediate response n he abruptly logged off
I cursed my self that I spoiled everything again n wanted to die � I had committed the greatest blunder in my life .For three days there was no response I kept on looking at the blank screen praying to God to pardon me but somehow let Ramesh talk to me even if he may shout at me- I was prepared for anything
Then an offline message came �Parul= Charu- pl give your address I want to send u planer ticket to come to Delhi-also give me your phone number � I want to talk to u immediately .I understand everything �
I jumped with joy and sent my address and phone number adding a big� Thank You Sweetheart- I am dying to see you�
The telephone started ringing after few minutes n never stopped till I got the tickets and boarded the plane
He explained that for it took him three days to convince his son that it was ok if I come back to his life that�s why he did not respond 4 three days
The plane was about to land and I was holding my that everything goes well
After ages the plane landed and I met my beloved at last
I was in his arms and we were both in tears.
He only uttered one sentence �Sweatheart I missed u all these years � I think we were made for each other�
I had no words to express my feelings and kept quiet
I had got what I waned and did not want anything else from God just now

EK THA RAJA- 5

Raja was an exceptional child
His mother was very fond of him n never stopped him from whatever he did or read
In fact she would tell him to sit next to her n read out to her also what he read
One day he read some story on space travel n told his mother that if one goes up in space high enough he wont come back to earth His mother was scared to imagine that Raja my be lost 4 ever in space n prohibited him from reading such stories- Raja just laughed but did not stop reading such books
He had learn cycling on fathers cycle n was happy to go to market to buy everything required by the family n became a clever shopper having learnt the art of bargaining Except for a few things he was growing all seasonal vegetables but hated most was buying meat which his father liked - though he never tasted it
He had grown henna as hedge around his vegetable garden to ward off stray animals into his garden -started drying henna leaves which he would grind him self to give to his mother .Soon his henna became known to the neighborhood ladies n Raja was in demand for his henna- which he gladly give to anyone He particularly enjoyed when girls of his age group would come asking for henna-he would tease them like r u getting married n to whom- and I will give u henna if u be my friend- seeing them blush he would tease them more
One Neeru was his favorite and he would even undertake to apply it to her hands willingly looking into her eyes all the time which he found very beautiful
Soon all his friends knew that Raja had Neeru as his girl friend-Neeru was also very fond of Raja .Neeru was two years younger than Raja in the same school and Raja being very good student readily undertook to Teach Mathematics to Neeru who was scared of the subject but soon with Rajas tuitions was good at it- this generated the demand of tuitions which he would decline unless the student was a female and that too sweet to Rajas taste
Raja was kind of hero in many ways .He soon started making his own Kites and Manjha by grinding broken glass mixes with levee [home made gum]which he would make him self- he was a master in art of making all types of kites experimenting with different shapes n sizes- he was a wonder child �picking up anything n learning everything on his own may be from books which he had excess to and found a way to locate a book from where ever he wanted As Raja was a versatile boy he had now a kind of hero and a number of boys of his age group wanted him as a friend but he ha no time for useless gossip or games for which he had no taste. Therefore he had very few friends �one who was his close friend was Satya who was best friend and his companion in every activity

Part 4
========================

Raja was now busy in his own world of plants flowers insects birds trees n nature in general- he was awe struck seeing nature at its best in all forms n his thrust to know more n more was increasing - the more he learnt the more he wanted to know more n became aware that there was more n more to learn
He will sometimes go alone into the nearby jungle when he was about ten n wanted to spot bigger animals wanting to see a lion or elephant
All he could manage was wild hen rats some birds he had not seen and some snakes - which never scared him - as he knew all living beings were not his enemies n they only attacked humans in self defense
Also he was Gandhi jee himself and believed in not harming anyone
At the age of 12 he got hold of Gandhi's biography "MY EXPERIMENTS WITH TRUTH" n read it with greatest interest cover to cover Not only that he purchased it kept with his personal collection of his favorite books of which Bhagwat Gita was one
Gita was also his favourite which he read regularly n tried to understand the essence n occasionally discussed his questions with his father who was a very religious man n knew Gita extremely well
As Raja grew he thirst 4 deeper meanings of every word of Gita grew but he was patient n knew he will understand more as he grew up
What fascinated him most was spiders n ants- he read about them from where ever possible but wanted to see their life cycle him self- n would be engrossed studying them 4 hours n 4 days together- till he under stood whatever he could but was again stumped to find there was more to be discovered about each species
The night sky was another mystery he wanted to understand- sleeping in open he will continue looking at the sky studying various star formations about which he had read in books but he wanted to look at them thru a telescope n craved to get hold of one from somewhere- even decided to learn to make one himself
Thinking of all these he dosed off
In the morning he would get up remembering the dreams he had seen remembering them clearly
At this stage he decide write a daily diary n wrote whatever happened during the day- this he continued all his life
What disturbed him most was the birthday when he was v unhappy as he got into the habit of reviewing his achievements in the year gone by which he never found up the mark - he wished he could have done more -in gathering knowledge
This was his most unhappy day of his life - he hated birthdays n wondered why people were happy to have lost one year of their life without achieving much

========================
Part 3
========================

Raja was now seven years old - busy in his studies - he was now learning drawing n painting from the art teacher as he had a natural talent for paintings
He has started making sketches of various things like horses trees n particularly of females around him like a beggar woman he used to see on way to school One day he made a painting of what he called Pari
When the teacher asked him where had he seen this Pari - his answer was Suniti- who was no more
The teacher kept quiet as he knew she was his friend n class mate who was no more
When he went home his mother saw the painting and asked who she was his answer was - Maan Tumm-
She was surprised as she knew this was Suniti n not her
Did Raja see in Suniti the beauty n love of his mother- as he was seeking her love in Suniti As his mother had to some extent started giving more attention to munna n another brother Krishna had had arrived
Raja had lost all hopes of being his mothers fav son he was before these two brothers were born
Although Raja was busy on his own many times his mother saw him looking at her face in deep thoughts but ignored - one day she couldn�t resist n asked him what he was thinking - his reply was=Maan Tumm Itni Sunser Kyoon Hoo =n then ran away
He learnt gardening from his dad n started growing vegetables n had a small garden full of various types of flowers particularly roses
For hours he will be busy in his garden or just read books which he started bringing from school n borrowed from friends
One day he discovered books in his own house kept in two wooden boxes- a collection of his father - about 500 of them That was the beginning of his love 4 books- n there after he was to be found in school - garden or in store room reading a book
He would forget eating n his mother would take his food to him n urge him to eat first n then read - but food was not important to him
Invariably his mother would feed him n he will continue reading till late at night
Raja was a brilliant student n stood first in class n was the favorite of all teachers n envy of his class mates
One day new lady teacher joined the school one Miss Lilly
who was a very beautiful woman n became rajas favorite -as she was the library in charge she took special interest to suggest new books for Raja to read finding his keen desire to read all topics- she planned his reading n arranged 4 him books specially
This was one reason 4 Raja to be close to her but her beauty also enchanted him as well
She was now his third Pari-as he followed her where ever she went n never took his eyes off her
One day he took her unawares n kissed her on her cheek
She was surprised but pleased too
She blushed n said Raja why u did this - his reply was= mam why r u so beautiful=-she only said = u r very naughty- pl never do it again = I m sorry mam= its ok =
That�s all - but he was now in love with her n even went to her house finding some excuse or the other n she welcomed him offered a piece of cake which she sometimes prepared 4 him specially
Raja made her painting n named it Pari-which he presented her After 6 months Miss Lilly left the school as she got married n disappeared
Raja cried bitterly but couldn�t do anything

========================
Part 2
========================

Raja was two years old when his brother munna was born- he would keep crying all day n wouldn�t go to sleep easily
Raja didn�t like munna a bit as he had snatched from him his mothers lap- n he kept waiting 4 munna to go to sleep so he could run into his mothers lap n feel her warmth which he was so used to
But his turn would come n he him self fell asleep
He was very unhappy n told mother to throw him out or return him to the hospital
Mother understood his feelings n promised to send munna back to the hospital
That never happened
The stories of Pari mother used to tell him also reduced n he lost interest in stories too-
He had once asked mother about Pari -how she looked like
Mother said Pari is very beautiful n loving
=Like you mother-n beautiful like you=
Mother said yes- he thought Mother was his Pari
He would call mother Pari Pari- she would just smile
Mother was his firstPari
But after Munna the stories reduced n he lost interest in stories
He invented his own games n kept himself busy
He brought a little pup from somewhere n was busy with Kalu as he called him
Kalu was his friend n followed him where ever he went
Raja was now five years old n was admitted in a school
Sweets were distributed to the entire class but no one gave Raja any sweet - he was not only surprised but annoyed n kept quiet
He was made to sit in the first row n was happy to get lot of friends particularly Suniti who sat next to him
They became good friends immediately
When Raja came out he saw Kalu waiting outside the school n was happy that Kalu was there
Next day he got late n was made to sit at the last bench which he didn�t like plus he missed Suniti throughout the day- he almost cried
When he came home he told mother that he was late n made to sit at the last bench as she had given him his Tiffin late- so either she should get up early or he would go without Tiffin
Raja was the first to reach school n never ever got late plus he sat on the first bench next to his friend Suniti
He wouldn�t bother much to hover around mother now- mother asked him one day whether he had lot of friends he said no only one
I have got a friend Suniti - she is like a Pari
Mother was happy n amused too Raja was very fond of Suniti n so was she of Raja- they became best friends
In second standard when the school opened he didn�t find Suniti - he waited n waited - she never came
He went looking for her - found her house n found that in summer vacations Suniti got typhoid fever n had died
He came home crying n didn�t eat anything that night
He was lost n didn�t know what to do
He got busy with his studies n kept to himself- sometimes would even refuse to eat food
Mother jokingly said r u Mahatma Gandhi- n he now wanted to know all about Gandhijee
Then he would wear a dhoti like gandhi jee n take a danda in his hands n act like Gandhi jee
Mother was sometimes scared to think about Rajas behavior as his habit of refusing to eat at smallest pretext was becoming too frequent
He would loose his temper but after a little while would be ok on his own
Whatever happened he never told lies n was prepared to undergo punishment rather than tell lies

Raja had read Gandhi jee�s story about fast n maun vrat

========================
Part 1
========================

EK THA RAJA
Raja was a little kid- he had photographic memory
He remembered each n everyday of his life from childhood till his end
That�s why when he was alone he would remember everything
He would smile to himself n sometimes would cry bitterly
He remembered the sweet moments of his childhood- those he met n got separated from in his life time- those who became part of his life-those who met him for few moments n left their memories behind- those who gave him joy n those who gave him tears- those for whom he gave precious years of his life for nothing in return those who took away everything he had
All those he remembered
Those who he wished he had never come across n those he yearned for but never got near them- so many people-
But one day a Pari came n shared with him every moment of his life
Both cried together
He got a feeling his end had come
He told Pari i am fed up with myself- can u pl help me
Pari brought a bowl of poison which raja drank gladly
Pari cried bitterly n took away Raja with him
No body saw Raja ever after

AN INCREDIBLE MADARI

It is a miracle I cannot explain
I was a very naughty boy about six years old .One day I saw a crowd gathered to see the trick of a madari[an Indian magician] n was keen to see his tricks �pushing my way I reached the inner circle of spectators, A s he saw me he asked me whether I was prepared to become his jamura[assistant]-as I was a fearless boy wanting to see his tricks ,I agreed; he called me near him and told me to tell my name to the crowd loudly which I did
�Are u a boy or a girl�
�A boy�
�Are u sure�
�Yes�
�Ok � go 10 steps back�
I went .Then he took out a big knife from his pitara � sharpened on a stone n pointing towards me said �sssshhhhhooooo�
Then he said �Are U you a boy or a girl �I said �boy� � �Are u sure-check yourself n tell�
I felt my self between my legs n my God my manhood had disappeared � there was nothing there- I was shocked n started crying � the crowed was amused n started laughing
I didn�t know what to do n started crying louder n louder to the amusement of everyone
Bagged him to make me a boy again till I was exhausted
He took pity on me n asked me to come to him touch his feet �to apologize from the crowd that he will never do any mischief in life ever- which I did
Then he asked me to go back to the place I stood- I want back n again he did his sssssssshhhhhhhooooooooooooo n I got my manhood back
I was so relieved that I ran back home n vowed never to go near a madari again in my life

A TRIBUTE TO MY GURU

SHIVADHAR SINGH - MY GURU
I was in 9th standard n was not good in writing essays
Anew teacher Mr. Shivadhar Singh joined the school n taught me how to not only write an essay but to THINK,
His style of teaching was absolutely unconventional as he took one Para of any story or essay n asked all of the class to give his own interpretation of whatever we understood and it was read to the entire class-with the result that one page tool more than one week to follow as at end he will give his own explanation of that one Para
HE would therefore extend his teaching beyond school hours and we were so enchanted with his method that we not only stayed after school but met in a park on Sundays to learn from him the deeper meanings of each lesson he taught
We followed him where ever he went and were absolutely devoted to him
I was one of his favorite students as my interpretation appealed to him best
There was a story 'USS NE KAHA THA- BY CHANDERDHAR SHARMA GULERI 'which he taught us 4 three months
It was a soul stirring experience n was the foundation of my interest in writing n taught me how to think
This is a story of a boy n girl in Amritsar city where this boy asks a girl' teri kurmai ho gayi' the girl replies 'dhaat'
This small dialogue was taught to us 4 three months
One would wonder how?
He asked us to imagine who this boy was - his age - his looks- his education - when he saw the girl first- what he saw in her- her eyes- her figure - her face- her hair - when 4 the first time - what came to his mind when he saw her first - when n why this sentence came to his mind and a whole lot of questions
Similarly what n why the girl thought about the boy
Each one of us wrote his own story in turn became a story writer
This exercise was a unique experiment never heard of witnessed by anyone in my knowledge
Prof Singh left the school n we heard he was teaching in some other city- but he left a mark on my mind which i cannot ever forget
After several years after i finished my education i located him in TILAK DHARI DEGREE COLLEGE - JAUNPUR
I went to Jaunpur but the college was closed. After a lot of effort I located his house but the door was locked
On enquiry from a Pan shop next to his house i found that he keeps the door locked n one can meet him by fixing a appointment by sending a post card n on getting a reply he will meet at a fixed time n spot which may take several days
I was very disappointed n came back ad i couldn't wait indefinitely
But i learnt he had a large no of students wanting to see him everyday but there were a lucky few who could have the privilege of his darshan
I came back after bowing my head in front of the locked door n kissing the
Steps leading to his door
I felt overwhelmed n happy to have payed my respects to my guru n came back with tears in my eyes
I wish everyone gets a similiar teacher in his life

A LOVE STORY

A SMALL TRUE STORY IT WAS THE SUMMER VACATIONS N I WENT TO THE LIBRARY RATHER EARLY - IT WAS YET TO OPEN THEREFORE I SAT IN THE STAIRS WAITING FOR IT TO OPEN AFTER A LITTLE WHILE A VERY SMART N GOOD LOOKING GIRL CAME UP THE STAIRS LOOKED AT ME WENT PAST ME TO THE LIBRARY MAIN DOOR N SEEING IT CLOSED CAME BACK N SAT 3 STEPS BELOW ME WAITING 4 THE LIBRARY TO OPEN AFTER A FEW MINUTES THE LIBRARY OPENED WE BOTH WENT IN I WENT TO LOCATE BOOKS OF MY CHOICE N WENT TO THE EXTREME END N SAT AT THE LAST CHAIR N GOT BUSY IT SEEMS SHE DIDNT SELECT ANY BOOK BUT CAME N SAT NEXT TO ME N STARTED SEEING THE MAGAZINES AROUND I DIDN'T TRY TO LOOK TOWARDS HER N WAS BUSY WITH MY WORK I WONDERED HOWEVER WHY SHE CAME N SAT NEXT TO ME AT THE EXTREME END INSTEAD OF SITTING ELSEWHERE AS THE ENTIRE LIBRARY WAS EMPTY I KEPT MY SELF BUSY IGNORING HER SHE OPENED HER FILE N WROTE HER NAME IN BOLD LETTERS ON A BLANK SHEET= SARLA GROVER= I READ BUT DIDNT RESPOND SHE KEPT FIDDLING WITH NUMBER OF MAGS BUT NEVER READ A SINGE PAGE- I KNEW SHE WAS INTERESTED IN TALKING TO ME BUT I WAS NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING TO A STRANGER SHE TRIED HER BEST N SEEING NO RESPONSE GOT FED UP N MARCHED OUT OF THE LIBRARY I DIDNT UNDERSTAND HER PURPOSE OF VISITING THE LIBRARY N GOING AWAY WITHOUT EITHER READING OR BORROWING A SINGLE BOOK COLLEGES OPENED N ONE DAY WE PLANNED A PICNIC OF ABOUT 15 CLOSE CLASS FELLOWS AS I WAS COUNTED A SCHOLARLY TYPE I WAS APPROACHED BY A FEMALE CLASSMATE WHO PERSUADED ME TO NOT ONLY JOIN BOUT ALSO REQUESTED ME TO PICK HER UP N A FRIEND OF HERS I RELUCTANTLY AGREED I WAS VERY PUNCTUAL AS PER MY HABIT I TOLD HER THE XACT TIME N ALSO IF SHE DIDNT COME OUT OF HER HOUSE IMMEDIATELY I WILL LEAVE HER N GO AT THE APPOINTED TIME I SAW A GIRL COMING OUT OF THE HOUSE WHO I DIDN'T KNOW -SHE CAME TO THE CAR N WITHOUT UTTERING A WORD OPENED THE REAR DOOR N SAT DOWN I WAS VERY ANNOYED N TOLD HER TO SIT IN THE FRONT AS I WAS NOT HER DRIVER- SUDDENLY I REALISED SHE WAS SARLA GROVER BUT KEPT QUIET- SHE SHIFTED TO THE FRONT N SAID SHE WAS SORRY I FELT V BAD BUT SIMPLY IGNORED HER- AFTER A LITTLE WHILE VEENA OUR CLASS FELLOWS CAME SAT AT THE REAR N INTRODUCE HER I SIMPLY SAID I KNOW HER BOTH STARTED GIGGLING WHEN I LOOKED AT THEM IN A BIT OF ANGRY MOOD THEY KEPT QUIET THIS WAS MY SECOND ENCOUNTER WITH SARLA I HAD A SOFT CORNER 4 HER BY NOW BUT DIDNT GIVE HER MUCH ATTENTION DURING PICNIC LATER I FOUND THIS WAS ALL PREPLANNED BY VEENA ON SARLAS REQUEST THE ENTIRE DRAMA WAS PLANNED I DIDN'T REALLY MIND AS I ALSO WAS AMUSED N HAPPY IN A LITTLE WHILE OUR FRNDSHIP BLOSSOMED N OUR MEETING PLACE WAS THE LIBRARY N THE SAME TWO EXTREME SEATS OUR FRNDSHIP GREW INTO A BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP N WE CONTINUED SEEING DREAMS OF OUR FUTURE TOGETHER ALWAYS KEEPING IN MIND THAT IT WIIL BE LIFE LONG - SHE DID MENTIONED THE POSSIBILITY OF A MARRIAGE BUT I TOLD HER THAT I WANT TO GO ABROAD FOR RESEARCH WORK BUT SHE AGREED TO WAIT FOR A LIFE TIME IF NECESSARY TO WED ME WHENEVER IT WAS POSSIBLE SHE UNDERSTOOD MY AMBITIONS N WAS MY INSPIRATION ALWAYS- SHE EVEN MET MY MOTHER N BOTH LIKED EACH ANOTHER IMMENSELY THEN TRAGEDY STRUCK I LOST BOTH MY PARENTS N WAS A BROKEN MAN - MY WHOLE LIFE TOOK A U TURN N ALL PLANS OF GOING ABROAD WERE CANCELLED I N THE MEAN TIME HER PARENTS MIGRATED TO CANADA SUDDENLY WITHOUT ANY WARNING ONE FINE MORNING SHE MET ME N TOLD ME ALL THIS - I WAS SHOCKED N WAS NOT STILL OUT OF MY TRAGEDY N KEPT LOOKING TO HER WE BOTH CRIED BITTERLY SEPARATED NEVER TO MEET AGAIN I HAVE NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN TILL THIS TIME N TAKE IT AS AN END TO A VERY MEMORABLE PART OF MY LIFE'S EXPERIENCE OF LOVE-